January 1994, Folio copy

Sunday January 2, 1994, Back of the Book And lo! The wee-wee pad of the intellect sulliesanother calendar year! The days are short, the nights are long. Join us as we get even more depressed! In a Winter Sports Segment, Ennui The Hedgehog reports on the Winter Depression Olympics. Events include the Carbo-Loading slalom, wherein contestants consume huge amounts of junk food without moving from their apartments. High scores are given for maximum empty calories consumed, absence of mobility and sugar content. Disqualification can occur if any actual protein is consumed during the period of the contest. The Frozen Corpse Bobsled event, run in the streets of Manhattan, features contestants who are fixed in place by a fear of crime riding rock hard remains down concrete hills. Other events include Infomercial Memorization (a written event), Memories of When Sex Used to Happen, and Hibernation. This year’s winners will be given a year’s supply of steroids and a change of sheets. Free Form Live Radio by R. Paul Martin.

Sunday January 16, 1994, Back of the Book In all likelihood we’ll be begging you for bucks tonight live from the fabulously appointed WBAI studios. Instead of the usual premiums, which are the non-profit version of cubic zirconia, we offer a patented Karma Audit. Graciously contributed by a pack of karma pirates with C.P.A. training, we can offer everyone who contributes to this program an adjustment to the karma they may currently have. Of course the extra good karma will come from those people who do not call in pledges to this program. While begging for spare change we will of course engage in the mandatory denunciation of Capitalism and talk about how if only Communism would take over soon everything would be so perfect. As proof we offer random interviews with merry Commies from places where things are much better than here, like North Korea. In the video portion of this program Beloved Leader Kim Il Sung will dance nude for bread sticks. And wait till you see where that bread sticks. Free Form Live Radio by R. Paul Martin.

Sunday January 30, 1994, Back of the Book In a scavenging gustatory segment Back of the Book’s own French Chef Merde Zut takes us through various gutters of Manhattan to gather the ingredients for making Landfill Stew. In the Giant Stadium version Jimmy Hoffa serves as the tasty main ingredient. Slumgullion can’t compete with our recipes. In a segment which he claims is not related to the preceding one at all, Itchy T. Echidna interviews Dr. I. Kantgitnun about his amazing new sexual anti-liberation movement named Retroactive Celibacy. The doctor describes the details of his new surgical procedure designed to make men virgins again. Several re-virginized males who’ve gotten the treatment from the doctor are on hand to tell of the effect this has all had on their former wives, and former children. "I spent 35 years whoring around, and now that I’ve regained my virginity I’m ready to start telling everyone else that they have to refrain from sins of the flesh," says Father Ag Nostic of Sacred Hemorrhoids of Jesus parish. Free Form Live Radio by R. Paul Martin.

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